Toby travels with a woman who pays, sweet blonde bubblehead Marcie, who adores him. He’s got it made. Trouble is, her nine-year-old daughter Andrea is his mental superior, and sees him for what he is.
Marcie’s father-in-law, billionaire bully Haze, holds the purse strings and loathes Toby, but he loves his little granddaughter, and that's where the power lies.
She’d get rid of Toby but she knows her mommy loves him, and keeps him around for amusement, solves his problems for him.
Haze takes them to a Greek island to bid for a painting, with Toby along as Andrea's “tutor,” and on his best behavior.
Toby is raped by a lady guest and threatened by her husband. To keep Haze from spending Marcie's allowance on the painting, Andrea organizes Toby and Toad to steal it—
“Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.”
AIN’T IT AWFUL?
WILL YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF?
“Garsong, encore de fried potatoes.”—P.G. Wodehouse, French Leave
Toby and Marcie are separated, it looks like forever, but Andrea sets things right.
Tour-guide Toby winters in Geneva with a client, and in spring escapes dog-walking duties to return to Athens—
an awkward moment
“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”—Marilyn
Tourist Beverly, well into her seventies, whisks Toby off to an island hotel where, blissfully in love, she dies.
—Pierre Choderlos de Laclos
In Paris Toby gives English lessons, which he knows nothing about, but he’s getting away with it when his pal Toad involves him in a fat girls contest—
Toby is irrepressible and irredeemable, a delightful comic creation whose most exasperating quality is also his most endearing: the more we get to know him the less we expect from him.