The Legs of Your Wife

Dedicated to His Excellency, Sweden’s Ambassador to Greece
The legs of your wife
Are a fact of life
From which as we chat
I avert my eyes
Unpersuasively.
They walk by themselves
In my room at night,
Sit crossed at the knee
And worry me.  They
Know what I’m thinking.
Few things are quite as
Bright as the legs of
Your wife.  However
They are not always
Perfectly shaven.
One hears a faint but
Unmistakable
Scratch when she rubs them
Together.  These marks
On my face are not
From the legs of your
Wife.  Recently I
Ran into the legs
Of your wife perched on
A barstool, tightly
Crossed at the thigh, and
Said hi to each in-
Dividually.
They pretended not
To know me.  Maybe
Someone was watching.
I don’t always know
What the legs of your
Wife are thinking.  Still,
I must confide to
You my growing and
Disagreeable
Realization
That the legs of your
Wife are in love with
One another.  I
Am excluded.  We
Form a romantic
Triangle, me and
The legs of your wife.


Also by Robert MacLean:
Mortal Coil: A Comedy of Corpses at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES;
The President's Palm Reader: A Washington Comedy at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES;
and the Toby books: 
Foreign Matter at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; 
Total Moisture at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; 
The Cad at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; and
Will You Please Fuck Off? at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords.
And they're at Sony, Nook, Kobo, Diesel, iTunes—the whole street.