The Legs of Your Wife, For His Excellency, Sweden’s Ambassador to Greece


The legs of your wife
Are a fact of life
From which as we chat
I avert my eyes
Unpersuasively.
They walk by themselves
In my room at night,
Sit crossed at the knee
And worry me.  They
Know what I’m thinking.
Few things are quite as
Bright as the legs of
Your wife.  However
They are not always
Perfectly shaven.
One hears a faint but
Unmistakable
Scratch when she rubs them
Together.  These marks
On my face are not
From the legs of your
Wife.  Recently I
Ran into the legs
Of your wife perched on
A barstool, tightly
Crossed at the thigh, and
Said hi to each in-
Dividually.
They pretended not
To know me.  Maybe
Someone was watching.
I don’t always know
What the legs of your
Wife are thinking.  Still,
I must confide to
You my growing and
Disagreeable
Realization
That the legs of your
Wife are in love with
One another.  I
Am excluded.  We
Form a romantic
Triangle, me and
The legs of your wife.

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His recent The Light Touch is on Amazon PrimeTubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. No brains, but an intellectual snob.

I was beastly but never coarse. A high-class sort of heel.

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean