Politically
correct sex
A musical
comedy
click on the songs you want to hear:
Her fears about men, his fears about women—then they switch. Barry Grace (a former director of the Irish Film Board) wrote the music, I the comedy:COREY prefers her fantasies to being with a real man, and does a dance with Attila the Hun and his men as they rape her. Then she kicks Attila off and sings about why she prefers this to being with "A Real Man":
Her boyfriend CONOR is a feckless young man—"Not an ounce of feck in him"—who avoids involvement, doesn’t pay his debts and sings a hymn to "Money":
The SURGEON says, "I have developed a post-Freudian science of the mind." "Why are you so down on Freud?" "Freud swallowed Darwin whole!" "So what’s wrong with Darwin?" "Pure mythology. Doesn’t hold a drop of water." "Then who are we? What are we?" "The scientific answer, Doctor, is—we don’t know." They dance the monkey dance to "The Accidental Monkey":
But CONOR is miserable in CORNELIUS's body. On a subway platform he sees COREY about to jump in front of a train—her love for him has broken her heart—and stops her just in time, though she doesn’t recognize him right away. Together they sing "Human Joy Takes Many Forms":
Rather than throw her life away, why doesn’t she trade bodies with him?—if he can get his own back. The SURGEON is indignant, but COREY is willing, and sings the love song, "Do You Have to Be a Woman?":
And CORNELIUS wants his body back. "You’re just too tight, honey! I’m getting a hemorrhoid!" CONOR is horrified: "What have you been doing with my body?" Well, CORNELIUS has made certain improvements, and sings "Unfellatable" to the approximate tune of "Unforgettable":
COREY and CONOR, now in each other’s bodies, explore the differences in sexual feeling, and sing "Suggest, in Fact, Request":
They decide to get married—but first they want their own bodies back. The SURGEON agrees reluctantly, but a plug gets kicked out in the operating room, and CONOR—dies. But they bring him back. The SURGEON wants to know what it’s like on the other side, and CONOR, still half-dead, sings "Enticing Dreams":
But that's not enough for the SURGEON—he wants to know, and Conor, weak, vacant, sings:
But that's not enough for the SURGEON—he wants to know, and Conor, weak, vacant, sings:
Oh, I got to the light,
I arrived at the height,
And a loverly sight
It was too.
But I had to come back,
Yes I had to come back,
I just had to come back
(to COREY)
To you.
(getting stronger)
I crossed the wide chasm,
Became ectoplasm
And found the orgasm
Was long overdue -
But I had to come back,
I had to come back,
I had to come back
To you.
(He pinches her behind. She squeals.)
COREY
He spurned the effulgence -
Preferred the indulgence
Of sticking his bulgence
In one tried and true -
ALL
(to COREY)
So he had to come back,
He had to come back,
He had to come back
To you.
SURGEON
He found, after jumping,
He still missed the humping,
And felt there was sumping
He had left to do -
ALL
(to COREY)
So he had to come back,
He had to come back,
He had to come back
To you.
CAL
There was ice cream forever,
Remarks ultra-clever
And sex with whoever
You wanted to do -
ALL
(to COREY)
But he had to come back,
He had to come back,
He had to come back
To you.
CONOR
(totally alive, to CAREN)
Oh, I love to love you
(to CASSIE)
And I love to love you
(to the various audience members)
And I love to love you,
And you and you,
(to COREY)
But I had to come back,
I had to come back,
I had to come back
To you!
ALL
Yes, he had to come back,
He had to come back,
He had to come back
(to COREY)
To you.
COREY and CONOR kiss. CORNELIUS and CAL kiss. CASSIE and CAREN kiss. CAREN and the SURGEON kiss.
CASSIE and CONOR kiss. COREY and CAL kiss. CORNELIUS and the SURGEON kiss. CAREN and CORNELIUS kiss.
COREY and CONOR kiss.
No comments:
Post a Comment