Faust: the movie
A micro budget instant classic for the woody allen market
In the tiny country of
Panurgia, wedged between Italy and Slovenia—
(See it? You really have to zoom.)
—German hacker Heinrich Faust,
under contract to the Kremlin, has removed Pentagon files and is waiting
in a bar he won in a card game for his money to be delivered digitally.
In the same game he loses his soul to Mephistopheles—and wins it back again. Now the two are dueling over who exists and who doesn't.
Sister St. Helen, callow, naïve, a Candide of a girl, believes anything. The other sisters are so
in love with her that they think she's an instrument of the Devil, and subject
her to a cruel exorcism.
Faust's mistress, Sasha the Assassin, is also a mistress of disguise. You never know who's coming for you.
CIA asset Priapo Smegman is lured by his foot fetish into Faust’s bar, into the clutches of the agency, and into abducting Sister St. Helen—
—with whom Father Rosario is also in love. His bishop requires him to witness a brutal attempt to whip the devil out of Sister St. Helen.
Rosario finds his sense of direction in Faust, who teaches him about life, not to say murder.
A radiant angel has Mephisto in her cross hairs, but he refuses to be drawn in.
Panurgia’s Queen Delicia, much to the king’s distress, is having an affair with Faust, and in her official capacity is able to help him with the disposal of the bodies. She can get anything done.
In her captivity Sister St.
Helen prays for help, and imagines being rescued by Quixote and Sancho, Wyatt
and Bat, and Holmes and Watson, played by Duncan and Ian Robertson.
Question: When you rescue a kidnapped nun
and
she falls in love with you, what
do you tell your mistresses?
Faust: the movie
Robert MacLean is an
independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Scanbox,
and his 7-minute comedy is
an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist,
a playwright,
a blogger,
a YouTuber,
a film reviewer,
a literary critic,
and a stand-up comic poet.
Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live
Greece, Irish citizen. Committed to making movies that don't matter. No brains,
but an intellectual snob.
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