Loose Shoes

Reg’d © Library of Congress
A Closet Comedy in a Small Seaside Hotel
A very very nice woman, on vacation in a small hotel by a beach, meets a very very bad woman, who looks just like her—in fact they’re played by the same actress  (Antigone Kouloukakos, reel)—and is determined to seduce Ms Nice’s husband.
Ms Bad is a nightclub performer who impersonates Lucy, Marilyn, Liz, Marlene, Kim, Bette, Joan and Vivien—and captivates Mr Nice. (Anthony Burkreel)
She is also a dominatrix in the employ of an English aristocrat who enjoys being tortured by her. (Duncan Skinnerreel)
As the ladies step into each other’s shoes their men, and then they themselves, lose track of who they’re supposed to be.
Pretentious Pictures presents a summer comedy.
Reg’d © Library of Congress

CHOCOLATE AND CHAMPAGNE, a comedy in the spirit of Lubitsch

Reg’d © Library of Congress
A Beverly Hills woman wakes up middle-aged and finds her life with a younger man undignified.

The stage version was performed in New York at the Creative Place Theatre.  Think of...

...only this is her movie, and she gets the younger guy.

Diana, a woman of a certain age, deals with a birthday by throwing out her younger live-in Jim.

They're right for each other, and she regrets it immediately, but she can't take him back: her daughter Jackie, who idolizes and competes with her, tells her Jim has seduced her, and Diana believes it.

So she makes do with the respectable but empty new life she'd thought she needed—with older lawyer Griff.

Jim gives a driving lesson to frantic neurotic Betsy, who almost shoots them off a cliff.  He calms her down and she takes him home. But he can't forget Diana.

Proposed cast: Jessica Lange (Diana)
DIANA, the Hamlet at the heart of this comedy, is a clothes designer with a boutique on Rodeo Drive, a house in Beverly Hills, and a younger lover, Jim, her kept man for two years now. There’s nothing she can’t handle—except getting older.


Proposed cast: Matt Dillon (Jim)

JIM is happy with a champagne-and-sports-car life, but he’s also a talented script-writer who’s postponing seriousness into a future that never comes.  Together they’re fast company.  They must have been brilliant at her birthday party last night.

This morning, though, even while he’s making love to her, she’s spooked.  She tells him he has to go.  She wants something more presentable, more—respectable—before it’s too late.

Which shocks him.  He takes life as it comes, but this is a bit violent.


Proposed cast: Ellen Barkin (Betsy)
 
BETSY, the suicidal widow of a husband she drove to suicide, is too scattered to pass a driving test, takes a lesson with Jim, spins the car onto a Mulholland Drive cliff and is ready to gun it and take him with her.


Proposed cast: Ray Liotta (Griff)
 
Diana's lawyer GRIFF, more her age and on her success level, has been in love with her for years.  Now’s his chance.  When Jackie tells Diana the lie that Jim has seduced her Diana gives up on Jim and tries to make a go of it with Griff.


Proposed cast: Gal Gadot (Jackie)
 
JACKIE, Diana’s daughter, idolizes her and so misses no chance to pick at and defy her.  Inwardly shaky, she is outwardly impish and sexy.  She thinks she’s in love with Jim; in fact what she needs is a father.


Proposed cast: Alfie Allen (Dylan)
 
Betsy's son DYLAN—eccentric hair, psychotic eyes, twitches constantly and rhythmically as if keeping time to music he doesn’t much enjoy—is in the same class at UCLA with Jackie, over whom he moans uncontrollably.  He disgusts her.


Proposed cast: Maura Tierney (Maria)
 
MARIA, Diana's housekeeper, is the deadpan foil to Diana's Hamlet, secret ally to Jim, and the one person Diana doesn't dare defy.


Proposed cast: Lena Olin (Gwen)
GWEN is Diana's mischievous best friend and alter-ego.  She'll take Jim if Diana doesn't want him!  Just kidding.  In an attempt to bring them back together she throws a party and invites both of them, but it turns into a confrontation....


And the final character is Beverly Hills—
 
—the tone, the climate, the village size and ambiance that make it inevitable for these people to collide.

The stage version of Chocolate and Champagne was produced by Love Creek  at the Creative Place Theatre in New York.

Pretentious Pictures presents a comedy with a dark center.

Reg’d © Library of Congress

Wilbert Harrison, Kansas City

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uycqpeRhvHc

Loose Shoes

Reg’d © Library of Congress
A Closet Comedy in a Small Seaside Hotel
A very very nice woman, on vacation in a beach hotel, meets a very very bad woman, who looks just like her—in fact they’re played by the same actress—and is determined to seduce Ms Nice’s husband.
Ms Bad is a nightclub singer who impersonates Lucy, Marilyn, Liz, Marlene, Kim, Bette, Joan and Vivien—and captivates Mr Nice. (Gaetano Sciortinoreel)
She is also a dominatrix in the employ of an English aristocrat who enjoys being tortured by her. (Duncan Skinnerreel)
As the ladies step into each other’s shoes their men, and then they themselves, lose track of who they’re supposed to be.
Pretentious Pictures presents a summer comedy.
Reg’d © Library of Congress

Francois de La Rochefoucauld:

"All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones."

Loose Shoes

Reg’d © Library of Congress
A Musical Comedy in a Seaside Hotel
A very very nice woman, on vacation in a small hotel by a beach, meets a very very bad woman, who looks just like her—in fact they’re played by the same actress—and is determined to seduce Ms Nice’s husband.
Ms Bad is a nightclub performer who impersonates Lucy, Marilyn, Liz, Marlene, Kim, Bette, Joan and Vivien—and captivates Mr Nice. (Anthony Burkreel)
She is also a dominatrix in the employ of an English aristocrat who enjoys being tortured by her. (Duncan Skinnerreel)
As the ladies step into each other’s shoes their men, and then they themselves, lose track of who they’re supposed to be.
Pretentious Pictures presents a summer comedy.
Reg’d © Library of Congress

Five Mini-Budget Feature-Length Comedies for the Woody Allen Market

Markets: 
1) The Woody Allen demographic—older, educated, intellectual.
2) Women, especially feminists.
3) Gay and Lesbian.
4) Arthouse: Welcome to New York, Nymphomaniac, Dogville.
5) Kinky: Fifty Shades of Grey.

Financial structure: Canada-UK co-production of five mini-budget cross-collateralized pictures.

Location: Greece

The Trial of Don Juan
The modern Don Juan is a woman in disguise—both a womanizer and a manizer, and active in both fields. Famous, indeed legendary, she wears high boots, a flowing white shirt and a stylish little mustache, as if she’d just stepped out of the 17th century—everything but the sword.

Kiss of Death
A boy with a fatal kiss, and the women who need it.

Pas de deux
A lesbian romantic comedy: a pickpocket falls in love with a pianist who leads her on a chase through the stunning Athens labyrinth—but oops, she steals the wallet of a British policeman on vacation, and he’s right behind her.

Beauty and the Beast
On a Greek island a beautiful tourist is held prisoner by a sadistic ogre.

Loose Shoes
Two identical women, played by the same actress—one very very good, and one very very bad—who sings!—and in her her act impersonates Lucy, Marilyn, Liz, Marlene, Kim, Bette, Joan and Vivien—compete for the same man, and step into each other’s shoes.

T. S. Eliot:

Between midnight and dawn, when the past is all deception,
The future futureless.

T. S. Eliot:

There is, it seems to us,
At best, only a limited value
In the knowledge derived from experience.
The knowledge imposes a pattern, and falsifies,
For the pattern is new in every moment
And every moment is a new and shocking
Valuation of all we have been.

CHOCOLATE AND CHAMPAGNE, a comedy in the spirit of Lubitsch

Reg’d © Library of Congress
A Beverly Hills woman wakes up middle-aged and finds her life with a younger man undignified.

The stage version was performed in New York at the Creative Place Theatre.  Think of...

...only this is her movie, and she gets the younger guy.

Diana, a woman of a certain age, deals with a birthday by throwing out her younger live-in Jim.

They're right for each other, and she regrets it immediately, but she can't take him back: her daughter Jackie, who idolizes and competes with her, tells her Jim has seduced her, and Diana believes it.

So she makes do with the respectable but empty new life she'd thought she needed—with older lawyer Griff.

Jim gives a driving lesson to frantic neurotic Betsy, who almost shoots them off a cliff.  He calms her down and she takes him home. But he can't forget Diana.


Proposed cast: Isabella Rossellini (Diana)

DIANA, the Hamlet at the heart of this comedy, is a clothes designer with a boutique on Rodeo Drive, a house in Beverly Hills, and a younger lover, Jim, her kept man for two years now. There’s nothing she can’t handle—except getting older.


Proposed cast: Gael García Bernal (Jim)

JIM is happy with a champagne-and-sports-car life, but he’s also a talented script-writer who’s postponing seriousness into a future that never comes.  Together they’re fast company.  They must have been brilliant at her birthday party last night.

This morning, though, even while he’s making love to her, she’s spooked.  She tells him he has to go.  She wants something more presentable, more—respectable—before it’s too late.

Which shocks him.  He takes life as it comes, but this is a bit violent.


Proposed cast: Kathy Bates (Betsy)
 
BETSY, the suicidal widow of a husband she drove to suicide, is too scattered to pass a driving test, takes a lesson with Jim, spins the    car onto a Mulholland Drive cliff and is ready to gun it and take him with her.


Proposed cast: John Goodman (Griff)
 
Diana's lawyer GRIFF, more her age and on her success level, has been in love with her for years.  Now’s his chance.  When Jackie tells Diana the lie that Jim has seduced her Diana gives up on Jim and tries to make a go of it with Griff.


Proposed cast: Adelaide Clemens (Jackie)
 
JACKIE, Diana’s daughter, idolizes her and so misses no chance to pick at and defy her.  Inwardly shaky, she is outwardly impish and sexy.  She thinks she’s in love with Jim; in fact what she needs is a father.


Proposed cast: Jack Roth (Dylan)
 
Betsy's son DYLAN—eccentric hair, psychotic eyes, twitches constantly and rhythmically as if keeping time to music he doesn’t much enjoy—is in the same class at UCLA with Jackie, over whom he moans uncontrollably.  He disgusts her.


Proposed cast: Rosie Perez (Maria)
 
MARIA, Diana's housekeeper, is the deadpan foil to Diana's Hamlet, secret ally to Jim, and the one person Diana doesn't dare defy.


Proposed cast: Stockard Channing (Gwen)
GWEN is Diana's mischievous best friend and alter-ego.  She'll take Jim if Diana doesn't want him!  Just kidding.  In an attempt to bring them back together she throws a party and invites both of them, but it turns into a confrontation....


And the final character is Beverly Hills—
 
—the tone, the climate, the village size and ambiance that make it inevitable for these people to collide.

The stage version of Chocolate and Champagne was produced by Love Creek  at the Creative Place Theatre in New York.

Pretentious Pictures presents a comedy with a dark center.

Reg’d © Library of Congress