Robert MacLean, his brief history

Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. 

Just finished shooting The Light Touch (IMDb), now in post.

Billy Zane will be "Toby" in the series of comedies based on these books.

Amanda Plummer will be the Don in The Trial of Don Juan.

Pacific Island Films has action adventure Out of India under option.

Emma Blue (teaser), a romantic comedy about the Devil in love, won awards in its unfinished state and is in post in NY.

Much-awarded 7-minute comedy.

Acceptance speech.

Books.

Producer, Bunny Poo Salad (some of my actors).


Documentary host


Stand-up comic poet on both sides of the big water.


Stories, poems, reviews, articles in British, American, Canadian, Greek and Japanese magazines. Narcissus and The Voyeur (essays), New York/The Hague. 


Published plays: CharmGilgamesh the KingMortalCoil.


Performed plays:


Steel Man—"A woman, her robot (a perfect man) and her lover (an imperfect man)"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 6 January 1999; John Houseman’s Studio Theatre, New York 25-27 July 2000, producer Love Creek/Le Wilhelm; FirstStage in Hollywood 27 April 2003. 


Blue Lady—"A sculpture of a man’s dead wife comes to life and offers him a second chance"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 6 January 1999. 

Mercedes Orange—"How a woman turns orange and finds true happiness"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 17 February 1999; Salt and Pepper Mime home studio, New York, 5 May 1999; FirstStage, Hollywood, 27 April 2004. 

Three Laughs—"Having a name like Fartmore can be good for you!"—Salt and Pepper Mime, New York, 26 May 1999; FirstStage, 3 May 2004. 

Just Looking—"Shopping your way to orgasm"—FirstStage, April 2002. 

Chocolate and Champagne—"A Beverly Hills woman wakes up middle aged and finds her life with a younger man undignified"—Creative Place Theatre, New York, 23-28 November 2002, produced Le Wilhelm, directed Tony White. 

Not Taking Taking Yourself Seriously Seriously—"A little girl steers her mother to the right husband by mastering the black arts"—FirstStage, Hollywood, 12 January 2004;  represented in Europe by Anco Entertainment. 

Love without Kissing—"When an aspiring actress’s face is destroyed she goes veiled and becomes a writer, a director, a producer…"— Anco Entertainment. 

Musical comedy Politically Correct Sex—"Her nightmare about men, his nightmare about women—then they switch."—Anco Entertainment; translated into Turkish.

Films:

Feature-length romantic comedy Emma Blue stars Costas Mandylor as the Devil in love, won the awards listed below and is in post-production in New York. 

Invitations & awards:


Shanghai International
European Independent, Paris
Beijing International
Strasbourg International
Honolulu International: Silver Lei Award “For Excellence in Filmmaking"
Heart of England International: Best International Feature Film; nominated for Best Feature
ReelHeART International, Toronto
Philadelphia Independent
Atlanta Underground Best Foreign Comedy Feature
International Film Festival Ireland, nominated for Best International Feature
Cyprus International Film Festival
Maverick Movie Awards, nominated for Best Screenplay, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor
Cannes Independent, standing ovation


Seven-minute comedy The Moment of Accepting Life was bought by HBO, Cinemax, British, French, Italian and Japanese TV.  It's had 8000 views on YouTube and is still making money.

Invitations & awards:

British Producers Association Industry Preview, London, with Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
London-Soho Festival
Palm Springs Festival
Sacramento Festival
Montreal World Festival, nominated for first prize
LA Shorts
Chicago International, nominated for a Golden Hugo
New York, Queens Museum of Art Indep Film and Video Series
New York, Shorts International
Derry, Northern Ireland, Foyle Film Festival
Austin, Texas, opened with The Royal Tenenbaums
Sarasota Festival
Mumbai Festival, Best First Film by a Director, prize $2000
Sedona International
Kent International
Commonwealth Film Festival, Manchester
Nickel Festival, Newfoundland
Kinofilm, Manchester
Dallas Long on Shorts, Festival Co-Directors Best Film Award
Mercury Short Film Festival, Las Vegas

Internet:

IMDb

Slated
Facebook
LinkedIn
Twitter 
G+
Amazon
The Devil’s Pleasure Garden

Contact:

bomac007@gmail.com
Mobile +30 6949 786 443
Land +30 210 725 1596
FaceTime bomac007@icloud.com 
Skype bomac007
Manager Eleni Larchanidou
Attorney Marc Jacobson

The Story behind the Story

Born in cold country, first memories robotic movements in snowsuit.

It is read onto tape that I am to be lawyer, calling with unmistakable aura of whatever celibacy looks like to four-year-old. Conceive immediate distaste for work.

Precocious reader, advanced to academic equivalence with averbal immigrant giants who rend my flesh at recess. Pictures of Blessed Virgin consolidate foot fetish.

Wake at 4:00 AM to sound of p’pa aheming over breakfast. Formulate vows.

Scholarship to expensive school—priests, uniforms, male company. Horror of hell overwhelmed by carnality, escape to public system, rasp of nylons as fifteen-year-old girls cross legs.

Ascend cornices of social purgatory, slightly but unfailingly beyond means, first lesson how live that way, to Paradiso of university, enlightened sex, expanding sense of possibility.

Year in Europe, aversion to work now phobic. Climb around on monkey bars of literature, prolong adolescence till thirty, permanent. Granted title (Wizard couldn't give Scarecrow a brain, so gave him a degree) with clap on back that propels me to provincial university, sleep with wrong wives, forced further north.  

Discover French women, sordid pleasures of writing comedy. Promotion, tenure, peering down slide at sixty-five induce claustrophobia, abdicate to Greek island, write best novels since Nabokov, reviews my mother could have written, no one notices.

Try screenplays. No one buys. Make the movies myself.  

Moral preferences:
Kindness, though I am not kind.
Generosity, though I am not generous.
Passion, though it scares me.
(I can never make up my mind. Like Hamlet, I just give up.)
Tenderness, between predations.

Philosophy:
The beer can't be too cold, and there can't be too much salt on the fries.
I can identify with anyone but myself. There’s an empty space when it comes to me.
Nothing happens in a Hollywood movie that can't be understood by a twelve-year-old.
Money lightens the spirit.

Style:
Splendid insouciance, spiced by panic and depravity.
Style is a species of smart-assery.
Macho? I can barely get the plug out of the hot-water bottle.
Suffer as an artist? My ego suffers when I don’t succeed, but my ego loves to suffer—it’s a pose, like Garbo’s.
I want to be Robert MacLean! Wonderful guy.

Aim:
A few moments of charm, and some money.

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