The one thing the world will never have enough of is the outrageous.—Salvador Dalí
Toby travels with a woman who pays. He's got it made, except that her nine-year-old daughter is smarter than he is. Based on the novella:
Toby travels with a woman who pays. He's got it made, except that her nine-year-old daughter is smarter than he is. Based on the novella:
Lazy,
good-for-nothing, pleasure-loving Toby, in flight from his creditors, has tried it as an English-teacher in Paris ("know-your-words
sort of thing") and as a tour guide in Italy and Greece ("I've always regarded Europe as more or less of a restaurant.")—
Proposed cast: Colin Firth (Toby)
Proposed cast: Colin Firth (Toby)
—and has now relaxed into the good life, traveling with rich American bubblehead Marcie,
to
Bali, Hydra, Puerto Vallerta, wherever he can avoid cold weather and
alarm clocks. Marcie is the widow of a scientific genius, now dead in
some wacko experiment, and her nine-year-old daughter by him, Andrea,
thinks in megabytes.
And
there's the rub: "Marcie is no smarter than anybody else; the child is
smarter than anybody else"—including Toby, who she treats as her
yo-yo. She'd have got rid of
him long ago but her mommy loves him, so she keeps him around to, what, play with.
Proposed cast: John Goodman (Haze)
Proposed cast: John Goodman (Haze)
Now
Haze has summoned Marcie and Andrea to London, so they can pose as a
family while he pretends to buy and old house, but in fact wants to
marry Marcie to Lord Michael, and pass the title on to Andrea.
Proposed cast: Scott Hinds (Lord Michael)
They distract Toby with Dr Lu, a hooker posing as a psychiatrist,
who lures him into compromising situations; one of which involves dropping his dry goods in front of the Queen.
Proposed cast: Mary Reynolds (HRH)
And as if he didn't have enough trouble, the house is haunted by a gay ghost who's in love with Toby.
Proposed cast: Mat Baynton (Oliphant)
Proposed cast: Mary Reynolds (HRH)
Proposed cast: Mat Baynton (Oliphant)
Will You Please Fuck Off? is part of the Toby series:
Pretentious Pictures presents a London comedy.
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