Will You Please Fuck Off?—the movie

Toby travels with a woman who pays. He's got it made, except that her nine-year-old daughter is smarter than he is.  Based on the novella:

Lazy pleasure-loving Toby, in flight from his creditors in America, has tried it as an English-teacher in Paris ("know-your-words sort of thing") and as a tour guide in Italy and Greece ("I've always regarded Europe as more or less of a restaurant."),

and has now relaxed into the good life, traveling with rich widow Marcie—

Victoria Pratt

—to Bali, Hydra, Puerto Vallerta, wherever he can avoid cold weather and alarm clocks.  Marcie is the widow of a scientific genius, now dead in some wacko experiment, and her nine-year-old daughter by him, Andrea, thinks in megabytes.

And there's the rub: "Marcie is no smarter than anybody else; the child is smarter than anybody else"—including Toby, who she treats as her yo-yo.  She'd have got rid of him long ago but her mommy loves him, so she keeps him around to, what, play with. 

Marcie’s father-in-law, billionaire Hazelton Turnbull “Hard Turd” Harding IV, loathes Toby, and loathes giving Marcie her allowance to feed him.  But he loves his little granddaughter, and there lies the control.

Now Haze has summoned Marcie and Andrea to London, so they can pose as a family while he pretends to buy an old house, but in fact wants to marry Marcie to Lord Michael, and pass the title on to Andrea.

Proposed: Scott Hinds

They distract Toby with Dr Lu, a hooker posing as a psychiatrist,

who lures him into compromising situations; one of which involves dropping his dry goods in front of the Queen.  

Proposed: Mary Reynolds

And as if he didn't have enough trouble, the house is haunted by a gay ghost who's in love with Toby.  

Proposed: Matthew Baynton

  Will You Please Fuck Off? is part of the Toby series:

 Pretentious Pictures presents a London comedy.