The Devil's Pleasure Garden: “Intelligence is a kind of immorality.”

I’d be a perfect gentleman

If I weren’t such a prick.

Debauchery with harlots

And dalliance with starlets—

But why should I

Pass any by

When I can have my pick?

I’d be a perfect gentleman

If I weren’t such a prick!

I’d prize exalted feeling

And put by double-dealing

If I but could

Do as I should

Like Harry, Tom and Dick.

I’d be a perfect gentleman

If I weren’t such a prick!

I’d make a flawless model

Of sentimental twaddle

If I submitted

To be insipid—

The idea makes me sick!

I’d be a perfect gentleman

If I weren’t such a prick!

I’d sparkle in society

With exquisite propriety

And keep a smile

Upon my dial

As if I gave a lick.

I’d be a perfect gentleman

If I weren’t such a prick!

The darlings all endeavor

To make it last forever!

And how their eyes

And soulful sighs

Do cut me to the quick!

Oh, I’d be a perfect gentleman—

(He’d be a perfect gentleman!)

I’d be a perfect gentleman—

(He’d be a perfect gentleman!)

I’d be a perfect gentleman—

(He’d be a perfect gentleman!)

If I weren’t such a prick!

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Faust: the movie

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. Committed to making movies that don't matter. No brains, but an intellectual snob.