A resored limerick, told me in fragments by a bartender W.H. Auden recited it to:
Said the king to the queen, We do frown on
Your getting in bed with your crown on;
We lie there in fear,
Should the points come too near,
We'll be gored while we’re being gone down on.

Although toes were his favorite dish
Hers were riper than he could quite wish.
The solution he found
Was to work his way down
And have the cheese after the fish.

Picking my nose in the nude
Might seem a little bit rude
But it’s in to the knuckle
And with any luck’ll
Be out while we’re still in the mood.

Although ordinarily gracious,
Certain comments could make her pugnatious,
As when he implied
That when he was inside,
Her thing was a little too spacious.

So she dripped on his honor a stain
By permitting herself to complain
That during the act
The regrettable fact
Was she didn’t quite feel enough pain.

The best, if not the only way, to ride her
Is with her on her back, and you inside her.
With the lady on her front
You’re a boathook in her cunt,
And may as well just pry her pucker wider.

The expulsion of waste from the bowels
To the gutturalizing of vowels
Occasions such pleasure
That ladies of leisure
Sit and strain till it jiggles their jowls.

I hang from the bedstead above you,
And now I must surgically glove you,
So that we can extract
With exquisite tact
A nice little souvenir of you.

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon PrimeTubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. No brains but an intellectual snob.

“I have great faith in fools—self-confidence my friends will call it.”—Edgar Poe

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean


  1. well, real fantastic

    Jason-Tyler Reeves

  2. ah, ha ha, good! Very informative and funny. You remember funny info best. I didn't know 99% of the above info.