Limericks

Picking my nose in the nude

Might seem a little bit rude

But it’s in to the knuckle

And with any luck’ll

Be out while we’re still in the mood.

The expulsion of waste from the bowels

With the usual grunting of vowels

Occasions such pleasure

That ladies of leisure

Sit and strain till it jiggles their jowls.

Although toes were his favorite dish

Hers were riper than he could quite wish.

The solution he found

Was to work his way down

And have the cheese after the fish.

A restored limerick told me in fragments by a Hydra bartender W.H. Auden recited it to:

Said the king to the queen, We do frown on

Your getting in bed with your crown on;

We lie there in fear

Lest the points come too near

And we're gored when we’re being gone down on.

Also by Robert MacLean:

Greek Island Murder at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon IT, Amazon ES;

Mortal Coil: A Comedy of Corpses at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES;

The President's Palm Reader: A Washington Comedy at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES;

and the Toby books: 

Foreign Matter at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; 
Total Moisture at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; 
The Cad at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords; and
Will You Please Fuck Off? at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, AmazonIT, AmazonES and Smashwords.