Serving the President

“There are more fools than wise men in all societies, and the larger party always 
gains the upper hand.”
―François Rabelais, 
Gargantua and Pantagruel

"In New York I was taken in by a richish lady with an off-off-Park Avenue apartment where I lived while I was looking for a job. Went out to the balcony every day, looked."

"This isn’t working," she said, my lingam limp in her fist. The firestorm is about to start and for a special treat she humiliates my manhood. It was enough to reopen the debate on whether women have souls.

Honesty is the sincerest form of aggression. Whenever someone wants to level with you, duck.

"What’s your problem," I challenged. "Love," he said. "Love and money. I have a little of both, you understand, but in neither case is it the real thing."

"You ain’t runnin on a deficit, you ain’t alive!" he said. "You daid! We gone leave all that to the bean-counters and get on with runnin’ the govamint."

"O-o-o-o-o-o-oh, I don’t care if it rains or freezes, I’ve still got my plastic Jesus, Ridin on the dashboard of my car," she sang.

"Too much character isn’t good for you, Belton. I’m writing a book on it."

The bills came over for his signature—he took a wad of them out of a drawer to show me—but he didn’t, he didn’t know! Should he sign them? He’d shown them to his wife and she’d liked some of them but she always said ask Reb.
He didn’t want to ask Reb! He hated Reb! It was practically written in stone that the vice president disappears after the election! Presides over the Senate! Counts hands!
Reb was running everything, how was that for humiliating! And she let him!


Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon PrimeTubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. Committed to making movies that don't matter. No brains, but an intellectual snob.


Picasso says he’s a communist. Neither am I.”—Salvador Dalí

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean


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