A guy walks into a bar…

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Do you know how to pitch a film? Start with “A guy walks into a bar,” and they’ll listen to whatever you say next.

So a guy walks into a bar shouting, “All lawyers are assholes!”

“I resent that,” says a patron.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you a lawyer?”

“No, I’m an asshole.”

More such wisdom can be found at Le Zjoke du Jour.

For much funnier material, get yourself Will You Please F_ck Off?

And here’s the film, Linda, A Highly Successful Call Girl.

Be merry, kids.

Robert

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His recent The Light Touch is on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. No brains, but an intellectual snob.

“I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.”―Scott Fitzgerald

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean

The Devil's Pleasure Garden

Anglo-Saxon Cuisine

When Donald Sutherland was working on Casanova Fellini cooked him a meal and asked what his favorite Canadian dish was to prepare.  Sutherland didn’t know what to answer.  What he should have said was, Maestro, Anglo-Saxons have no cuisine apart from meat and potatoes.  The British and the Canadians make fish and chips, which can be good, but we don’t cook it ourselves.  And there’s Yorkshire pudding, which you don’t even want to know about.  When we want to dine well we eat Italian, or Chinese, or Indian—unless we can afford French.  Otherwise it’s cowboy food.

Seeing a Head:

Ladies and Gentlemen,

As your doctor, I do not recommend believing in anything beyond oneself. Of course one does believe in things beyond oneself, but I don’t recommend it.

Nevertheless, my wife’s daughter, an astrologist (though I continually press her to develop her vibrant academic career, and especially her reach as an author), and an astrological consultant for businesspeople, has made an astounding prediction on her site, which I cannot but share with you.

This was written a month ago (as of 18 July 2024):

And so we arrive at a rather radical, shocking, combustible moment mid-July, when Mars meets Uranus in Taurus. The last time Mars and Uranus met was August 2022, a volatile moment.

Now they meet again, close to the fixed star Algol, the Medusa's head in the constellation of Perseus. This star is often associated with losing one's head (literally, figuratively, or as in a 'head of state'.) The Medusa's head is also famous for turning people into stone (literally "petrified") and suggests a form of paralysis - perhaps from shock.

This is no time to mess with nature - or heavy machinery for that matter. There is a real revolutionary vibe to Mars-Uranus too. 

Whatever happens, Mars-Uranus uses the element of surprise - or 'shock tactics' - to get us out of any complacency.

Just sayin’.

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. Committed to making movies that don't matter. No brains, but an intellectual snob.

In Praise of Older Women

Film review: Kinds of Kindness

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean