Some passing remarks on oneself, you know:

Robert MacLean is an independent filmmaker. His The Light Touch is on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Scanbox, and his 7-minute comedy is an out-loud laugh. He is also a novelist, a playwright, a blogger, a YouTuber, a film reviewer, a literary critic, and a stand-up comic poet. Born Toronto, PhD McGill, taught at Canadian universities, too cold, live Greece, Irish citizen. Committed to making movies that don't matter. No brains but an intellectual snob.

“The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity.”—Oscar Wilde

The Light Touch on Amazon Prime

The Natural Wish to Be Robert MacLean

The Devil's Pleasure Garden

Here are some projects he toys with, fantasies, really, but one never knows:

Too Old to Be a Virgin, Too Young to Be a Killer
Kiss of Death

Linda
Chocolate and Champagne
And Then You Die
Shipment from India
Mortal Coil

Earlier he made feature-length romantic comedy Emma Blue with Costas Mandylor as the Devil in love.

It had the screenings and won the awards listed below, but it remains unfinished.

Still earlier came tiny comedy The Moment of Accepting Life, also much awarded. It made a pile of money and has had 10,000 views on YouTube:

PLAYS

Published:

Mortal Coil

Charm

Gilgamesh the King

Performed:

Steel Man—"A woman, her robot (a perfect man) and her lover (an imperfect man)"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 6 January 1999; John Houseman’s Studio Theatre, New York 25-27 July 2000, producer Love Creek/Le Wilhelm; FirstStage in Hollywood 27 April 2003.

Blue Lady—"A sculpture of a man’s dead wife comes to life and offers him a second chance"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 6 January 1999.

Mercedes Orange—"How a woman turns orange and finds true happiness"—Lincoln Square Studio Theatre, New York, 17 February 1999; Salt and Pepper Mime home studio, New York, 5 May 1999; FirstStage, Hollywood, 27 April 2004.

Three Laughs—"Having a name like Fartmore can be good for you!"—Salt and Pepper Mime, New York, 26 May 1999; FirstStage, 3 May 2004.

Just Looking—"Shopping your way to orgasm"—FirstStage, April 2002.

Chocolate and Champagne—"A Beverly Hills woman wakes up middle aged and finds her life with a younger man undignified"—Creative Place Theatre, New York, 23-28 November 2002, produced Le Wilhelm, directed Tony White.

Not Taking Taking Yourself Seriously Seriously—"A little girl steers her mother to the right husband by mastering the black arts"—FirstStage, Hollywood, 12 January 2004; represented in Europe by Anco Entertainment.

Love without Kissing—"When an aspiring actress’s face is destroyed she goes veiled and becomes a writer, a director, a producer…"; Anco Entertainment.

Musical comedy Politically Correct Sex; Anco Entertainment.

SCREENINGS AND AWARDS

The Light Touch

WINS

Best Comedy, Sweden Film Awards;

Best Actress, Best Director, Luleå International Film Festival;

Best LGBTQ, Rome International Movie Awards.

Best Comedy Actor: Duncan Skinner, Moscow Comedy FilmFest Gelos

Best Comedy and Best Actress: Tess Spentzos, Toronto Film Magazine Fest

Outstanding Achievement Awards: Best Supporting Actress, Georgia Siakavara; Best Debut, Robert MacLean, Tagore International Film Festival

Awards of Recognition: Best Supporting actress, Skyrah Archer; Best Direction, Robert MacLean, Accolade Global Film Competition

Best Supporting Actress, Skyrah Archer, L’Age d’Or International Arthouse Film Festival

Best Producer, Claudio Castravelli, Cult Critic Movie Awards

Best Supporting Actress, Skyrah Archer, Virgin Spring Cinefest

Best Director, Calcutta International Cult Film Festival

Best Producer, Claudio Castravelli, World Film Carnival - Singapore

Best Cinematography, Panos Golfis, Royal Society of Television and Motion Picture Awards

NOMINATIONS

Antonioni Award for Best Feature Film, Blow-Up Chicago International Arthouse Film Fest;

Odysseus Award, Best Film, London Greek Film Festival;

Best Actress, two Best Supporting Actresses, Best Director, Maverick Movie Awards.

Best Feature Comedy Film, Moscow Comedy FilmFest Gelos

Best Feature Film, Athens International Monthly Art Film Festival

Best Director: Honorable Mention, London International Monthly Film Festival

Best Comedy, Prague International Monthly Film Festival

Best Feature, Malta Film Festival

Best European Low-Budget Film, Best Indie Film Award

Emma Blue

Shanghai International (invitation)

European Independent, Paris
Beijing International
Strasbourg International
Honolulu International: Silver Lei Award “For Excellence in Filmmaking"
Heart of England International: Best International Feature Film; nominated for Best Feature
ReelHeART International, Toronto
Philadelphia Independent
Atlanta Underground Best Foreign Comedy Feature
International Film Festival Ireland, nominated for Best International Feature
Cyprus International Film Festival

Maverick Movie Awards, nominated for Best Screenplay, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor
Cannes Independent (standing ovation)

The Moment of Accepting Life

British Producers Association Industry Preview, London, with Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

London-Soho Festival
Palm Springs Festival
Sacramento Festival
Montreal World Festival, nominated for first prize
LA Shorts
Chicago International, nominated for a Golden Hugo
New York, Queens Museum of Art Indep Film and Video Series
New York, Shorts International
Derry, Northern Ireland, Foyle Film Festival
Austin, Texas, opened with The Royal Tenenbaums
Sarasota Festival
Mumbai Festival, Best First Film by a Director, prize $2000
Sedona International
Kent International
Commonwealth Film Festival, Manchester
Nickel Festival, Newfoundland
Kinofilm, Manchester
Dallas Long on Shorts, Festival Co-Directors Best Film Award
Mercury Short Film Festival, Las Vegas

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

So who are you?

It’s hard to say. I was born Canada, I'm an Irish citizen, I live in Greece, I made my first film in London, published my first novel in New York—I have trouble consolidating an identity. I’ve got English and Irish in me, and they hate each other.

It says here you have a doctorate.

The Wizard couldn’t give the Scarecrow a brain, so he gave him a degree. I wish I were smart. I have a PhD from a world-class university—I should be smart. But you don’t have to be smart to get a doctorate; you have, in the most committed fashion, to be lazy. Horror of getting a job prolonged my adolescence until I was thirty, and by then it was too late. When I finally did get a job I almost fainted in shock.

Who is this film aimed at?

Woody Allen’s audience—older, educated, intellectual. Women, which I know is rather a large group, but it’s a film in which the protagonists and the authority figures are women. Lesbians, of course. The arthouse people, like myself, who see Welcome to New York, Nymphomaniac, Dogville; and for those in my generation, Belle de Jour, The Cook, the Thief. The erotic-but-theatrical fans who like Fifty Shades of Grey. And the Greek diaspora. We’re all over Athens and its monuments.

And what is your aim, as a filmmaker?

A few moments of charm, and some money.

No other ambition?

My burning ambition is to take myself seriously. It’s my favorite thing to do. Well, not my favorite thing. What one wants is to do one’s favorite thing while taking oneself seriously. Don’t you find?

You mentioned money.

Money lightens the spirit, but to make money you need brains. To spend money you need culture. I have no brains whatsoever, but I’m crawling with culture.

What’s the difference between an independent film and a Hollywood film?

Nothing happens in a Hollywood film that can't be understood by a twelve-year-old child, but I’m afraid most indies now aspire to that cognitive level. As a general rule the faster the editing, the crasser the production, but you get that under both skies. As for working relationships, the film world is full of people who are through with each other. So there isn’t much difference.

Would you say your films are for adults?

Usually “adult” means pornographic. Uninfantile, say. Entertainments for the witty, the pretty, the flirty and the over-thirty.

Is there a moral in your films?

Hard to say. I have moral preferences myself, but I don’t know if they surface in the films.

What are those?

Kindness, though I am not kind.
Generosity, though I am not generous.
Tenderness, between predations.

Do you have aesthetic principles?

Pleasure and amusement. I mean one has to stand for something!

Is that why you live in Greece?

In America, happiness is something you “pursue.” In Greece it's something you have, if the Germans will leave you alone.

Do you suffer as an artist?

My ego suffers when I don’t succeed, but my ego loves to suffer. It’s a pose, like Garbo’s.

Do you think of your work as a kind of resistance?

A last ditch! The forces of seriousness are all around us!

Do you have any advice for young filmmakers?

A successful piece of entertainment should either engage our depths or insult them. The best do both. And avoid film schools. They’re just occupational training.

Do you have a philosophy that sums up your approach to filmmaking?

All art aspires to the condition of opera.

Personal ideals?

Leisure and pleasure beyond measure.

What can our readers expect from your films?

Smart-assery for people of taste. Sophisticated humor with perhaps a smidge of vulgarity. And beautiful women.

How old are you?

Forty-nine.

Really?

You’re too young to remember Jack Benny. He was an American comedian who had a running joke that he was thirty-nine, though he was clearly older. Forty-nine is the new thirty-nine.

Yes but, how old are you really?

Forty-nine.

Uh-huh. How do you stay in such good shape?

It’s a matter of diet. You have to eat the right things, do the right things..

Tell us about it.

Well, it’s a hard discipline. I don’t recommend you try this at home:

First, avoid exercise. Don’t do anything you can’t do lying down. Second, eat a lot of red meat. Get drunk every night on cheap head-buster wine. I must have passed an ocean of that through myself. I don’t know what it’s done to me. You’ll have to wait for the autopsy. Stay up till six every night. Go out dancing. I know I told you to avoid exercise but you can do that lying down. Sometimes you do. Finally, and most important, sleep till three in the afternoon. Never see dawn unless you sneak up on it from behind.

Well, you’re certainly fresh-looking for a man of, what?

Forty-nine.

What’s your secret?

The knack of continuing to show off long after anyone’s watching.

Is there a philosophy you’d like to leave us with, sort of a world view?

The beer can’t be too cold, and there can’t be too much salt on the fries.